Do you remember getting disciplined as a child? How were you disciplined? How do you think the discipline you received as a child is affecting the way you choose to discipline your children?
I remember being sent to my time out corner in the living room, dessert withheld for a meal or two and some spankings when my misbehavior really deserved it. These discipline methods sure got my attention, but for some of you the methods that your parents used were ineffective, so now that you are a parent you’re determined not to use those methods. So what methods of discipline are you going to use to teach your children about life?
Part of our job as a parent is to teach our children about life. Disciplining our children must be connected to consequences. As parents we have the responsibility to teach our children about consequences. Children need to understand that all choices have consequences whether good or bad. Bad choices have undesirable consequences. Sometimes parents try to protect their children from the consequences of there bad choices. This allows the child to get away with bad behavior. For example, if your child was given the responsibility to clean their room before they could go out and play with their neighbor and they refused to clean their room, the consequence is they are not allowed to go out and play with their neighbor. No matter how much anger, crying, kicking their feet and carrying on they do. Your child needs to understand that there are consequences to not cleaning their room. Eventually your child will understand the importance of cleaning their room.
Parents need to determine a course of action when disciplining their children and stick too it! Consequences need to be enforced early on. It is hard to be an enforcer, we would much rather be a protector.
We need to teach our children more than we punish them. When deciding on a course of action to take when disciplining your children make sure that your expectations are realistic. We need to develop empathy for our children. Empathy is the capacity to see your child in their own skin. We need to teach our child how to calm themselves down. We can accomplish this goal by allowing them to see how we calm ourselves down. Much of parenting is by example. We want kids to see how we handle making mistakes. Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott experts on parenting the early years encourage parents to be consistent, patient and attentive.
I am sure all parents would agree that disciplining our children is a challenge. The questions I remember Jan and I asking were, are we being too tough or too lenient? Say “yes” to your kids as much as you can and save your “no” for the most important issues.
God wants us to trust Him completely and that includes seeking Him when teaching our children about life through discipline. Proverbs 3: 5-6 is a great reminder of what God wants. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight.”