The Life Never Lived

I’ve heard it said that three out of four children of alcoholic parents will, in turn, abuse alcohol themselves. As a child, my step-father* was alcoholic and quite abusive in different ways. We lived in a mobile home in southern Louisiana at the time and life was hard. Work was tough to come by for him so the comforts of money were elusive for our family. When it was found, payday checks were often spent in the bar while my sister and I would wait in the truck. Eventually the pressures of life, poor choices, and the effects of alcoholism turned our home into a scary place.

But, God intervened.

He came alongside my mother in the form of a friend who helped her with the courage to get us out of that environment for the sake of health &  safety. She turned her heart over to Christ and pursued a new life in Him. Which, then, led me to do the same at 11 years old.

As I look back on my life and reflect on the above statistic, I find myself thankful for the powerful work of Christ. Because of His intervention, I am not who I would’ve been had He not entered into our hearts.

The power of the life-giving presence that I have experienced from His Spirit is expressed in Romans 8:11, my life verse: “And if the spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you.”

Hearing the stories of the guys of Minnesota Teen Challenge today in church reminds me of how truly thankful I am for the work of Christ in my life…grateful for the life I never lived.

* I’ve had three fathers: My birth father till  I was about 2; My 1st step-father, the one I speak of in this post, till I was 11; My 2nd step-father (the one I call my “Dad”) from when I was 13 till the present.

Where Are You Heading?

We just couldn’t stop talking. All three of us were so excited to talk about and debate all the things we learned and heard at the conference we had just been to that we were hardly paying attention to the road signs along the drive. Dave drove into Colorado on the way to the conference (in Colorado Springs), Jon was now driving out of Colorado on the way home and I got the long boring part through Nebraska! So, while we were busy talking and debating, we were approaching Denver and had to change interstates soon so Jon quickly interrupted “Now am I supposed go to 70?” Dave, also very quickly, replied “Yeah. 270.” And back to our lively banter we went as Jon proceeded to take I-70. We were so intent on our discussion that we paid no attention to the road signs, what-so-ever!

Well, two and a half hours later, Jon pipes up “Uh…guys. Did we go through Kansas on the way there?” “Kansas!?” Dave replied. “No.” Sheepishly, Jon continuted, “Uh…well…we’re in Kansas now.” “WHAT!? Why are we in Kansas!?” we both shouted. “I don’t know. We just are!”

Well, after a few minutes of confused bewilderment, we figured out where we went wrong. We were too busy talking and debating that 1) we didn’t clarify exactly what road we need to take (“270″ not “to 70″) and 2) we didn’t pay attention to any other road signs indicating where we were nor where we were heading.

We all know that we need to follow the road signs while were driving. We all know that we need to be clear on our directions or we’ll get lost. We all know that it’s our actual direction that gets us to our destination, not just our intentions. And, we never really plan on getting lost, we just suddenly find ourselves in the middle of it because we were too focused on what’s going on inside of the car.

But we forget that it’s the same with life. We forget to clarify what our desired direction is. Instead, we just drift…follow the cars (people) in front of us. We forget to make sure that our choices and steps (which determine our direction) are in line with our original intentions. We want to be in shape but we continue to eat unhealthy and not exercise. We want to have deep relationships but we continue to fill our calendar with busy-ness and ignore the opportunities to be connect with the people right in front of us.  We want to make the right choices but we continue to hang around the same people or put ourselves in the places that we know are bad for us. We want to know God and the Word more but we continue to spend all our time on Facebook, riding 4 wheelers, chasing deer, watching movies or looking for that next thrill.

It’s the choices we make everyday that puts us on the path we’re traveling. As Andy Stanley says, “It’s our direction, not our intentions, that determine our destination.”

So let’s all aks ourselves, “Where am I heading?”

Fear of the Snowman

Snowmen. You see them often where ever you go during the winter.

The ones you see in the stores (on cards, wrapping paper, in figurines, etc.) always look so perfect…impossibly perfect. Three smooth round balls joined together forming the body. Beady little eyes, carrot nose, and buttons like an overcoat. Some have scarves, some have hats, some have arms and hands. Some look like men, some look like women but they’re always perfect.

The ones you see around town in people’s yards, however, are…well…let’s just say they’re usually less than perfect. The bodies usually look like mangled mounds of snow smooshed and packed together that are then cut with hand chops to look like rounded sections. The smiles are usually lopsided and the eyes a bit off kilter. And the whole body is usually drooping to one side looking more like a snow-geezer and less like a snow-man.

I’ve always had a fear of making a snowman. I just felt like my efforts could never measure up to the expectations that are set by those perfect figures we see in the stores. It would take too long; be too much work. The finished product, even if I took the time and put in the effort, would still be less than desirable. Besides, it’s gonna melt anyway! So why bother?

I think that fear of making a lopsided snowman is a picture of our own fears of so many other things in life: committing to relationships, building healthy friendships, deepening our spiritual lives, making courageous choices, doing the right thing, etc. We fear that it’ll be too much work; take too long. We fear that even if we put out the effort, the end result will be too disappointing. Besides, it won’t last anyway and I’ll just have to start all over again.

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity [fear], but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

Last Sunday, was a day of victory for me…I made a snowman. I conquered my fear of disappointment and put the time and energy into taking my two little girls outside and we made a snowman! Well, actually, a snowgirl…named DeeDee. We carefully rolled each ball separately and, of course, the first one was the biggest and hardest to make. But, after that it was actually pretty fun! Together, we smoothed out the sides and placed the rocks for eyes, raisins for the mouth, a carefully carved carrot for the nose. We gently wrapped her in a pink scarf and topped her with a pink stocking cap. When she was done, we were proud and heartily satisfied! She doesn’t really measure up to the ones we see in the stores (in fact she leans a little to the side and she’s already melting) but in our hearts, she’s perfect!

It just took a little confidence & courage, love for my daughters, and self-discipline to say to myself “Get out there and just do it!”

Are you afraid of making that “snowman” in your life? You know what I mean. Let this remind you that God has not given you a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline. So go ahead…get out there and build that snowman! It’s worth it.