Do you have days as a parent when it seems so much easier to over-react rather than listen to your child? My reactions as a parent often added to the tension of situations. Over-reacting is like adding fuel to a fire. As parents we need to set positive examples for our children, teaching them how to interact and how to react.
There are several things that contribute to over-reacting. Some examples are lack of sleep, over-commitment, unresolved conflicts, lack of laughter, etc. Maybe as a parent you are just too tired of dealing with a child’s reoccurring misbehaviors. The contributing factors of over-reacting may be different for all of us; however some of these examples can be attributed to our lack of time with the Lord. The Bible has great practical instructions for parenting.
In James 1:19, Paul says, “You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (NRSV). The Apostle Paul provides excellent instruction to combat our tendencies to over-react. His first instruction is to listen. Listening communicates to your child that you value what they say and value them as a person. When you listen, you gain greater insight into the situation and your child’s heart. Listening models patience and places your child in the “limelight.” This reveals to him/her that you truly care. Over-reacting is selfish and does not teach your child how to listen.
The Apostle Paul’s second instruction is to be “slow to speak.” Before you over-react, take a deep breath, pray, and ask God to give you patience. When you have gained composure, ask your child to take a deep breath, and engage them in conversation. Be sure to listen. As stated before, this will be a great step in gaining insight into your child’s heart.
The Apostle Paul’s third and final instruction is to be “slow to anger.” Remember that your child is acting their age. Often times as parents, our expectations are unrealistic. We might be expecting adult behavior from a 3-year-old. Be tender in your love; anger often comes when we start to see our children as inconveniences.
Children are not obstacles to our personal agendas; they are treasures from God. In God’s eyes everyone is an extraordinary treasure. All people are God’s beloved creations and are invited to receive forgiveness at the cross. How you respond to your child’s behavior is an opportunity for you to reveal God’s love. When you grasp what your child means to God you can begin to soften and treat them tenderly.
As parents, “be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” These are ways to stay connected to your child’s heart!
Pastor Doug
