Helping the Heart of a Hurting Friend

We all have friends whose hearts are hurting. God commands us to love our neighbors as we do ourselves (Leviticus 18:19). Jesus calls us to love another as he has loved us (John 15:12). The Apostle Paul challenges us to bear one another’s burdens in accordance with Jesus’ teachings (Galatians 6:2). A primary call of the Word of God on our lives is to love, care for, and support one another. Here are a few suggestions on how to be of real help to our friends.

Principles that H.E.L.P.

H – Honesty (be genuine & truthful)

Be honest with yourself (John 13:37-38). Are you really ready and able to help?

Be honest with your friend (Proverbs 24:23-26; Ephesians 4:25)

E – Empathy (be accepting & understanding)

Listen to your friend and ask lots’ of questions before you offer advice (Proverbs 10:19; James 1:19-20)

L – Levity (stay lightly connected to the problem)

Stay out of your friend’s drama (Proverbs 13:20; 26:4)

Stay above the foolishness of the pain your friend may have brought upon him/herself (Galatians 6:1)

P – Perseverance (stay faithful to your friend)

Be patient with your friend, be tolerant & accepting (Ephesians 4:2)

Be loyal through good and bad times (Pr. 17:17)

Embrace the struggle of helping your hurting friend for persevering with him/her will produce strength & maturity (Romans 5:3-4; James 1:4)

Actions that H.E.L.P.

H – Hugs
It’s amazing how the warmth of a genuine hug or a gentle touch can dispel the pain of a hurting friend and communicate that you care.

E – Encouragement
More often than not, it has been the hurtful words of another that has caused your friend so much pain (Proverbs 12:18). Therefore we must counter those hurtful words with encouraging words. Encouragement goes a long way toward healing the heart of a hurting friend (Proverbs 16:24).

L – Laughter
A little cheer is good for your friend’s hurting heart. It’s like good medicine. It doesn’t necessarily solve the problem but it does provide some reprieve from the pain so that your friend can deal with the problem in a better way (Proverbs 17:22).

P – Prayer
Ask your friend if you can pray with him/her right there. Praying with your friend connects them with God in a way that he/she may be incapable of doing at the moment. It guides your friend into trusting God with their hurts and problems. And it communicates that you really care.

Faith – Passing It On To the Next Generation

How can we increase the likelihood that our children will love Jesus and value serving others? There are several things that may impact your child, but I believe that one of the most powerful influences is family. Family, specifically parental roles have a powerful responsibility to model lifestyles, values, and beliefs. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Whether you are raising your child/children as a married couple, single person, grandparent, etc. you have an important role in modeling a committed relationship to the Lord.

 A committed relationship with the Lord involves a person who believes in Jesus as their personal savior and strives to trust Christ with every aspect of his/her life.  A person in a growing relationship with the Lord will grow in character and ability to set and receive boundaries. They regularly spend time with God, connecting with Him and reading His Word.  Moses instructed parents to keep God’s word at the center of life in the home.

“These commandments that I give to you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and    bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your homes and on your gates,” Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NIV).

A committed relationship with the Lord involves spending quiet time with God through prayer, fasting, and solitude.  It’s an understanding of God’s grace and living in that grace.  These things come by developing solid biblical beliefs and convictions; demonstrate those beliefs through your attitudes and actions.  If you want your children to respect authority and live responsibly, you must model those values in your own life.  This commitment to God can be modeled through your initiative to be a part of corporate worship, engaging in mission and service.  Remember that the likelihood that your children will love Jesus and value serving others is greater if you set these as your own values in your home.

If you have the opportunity to parent as a married couple, do not underestimate what your marriage can demonstrate to your children about the love of God through your actions and attitudes as a couple. When parents are committed to each other they initiate spending time together, and their relationship becomes a priority. Strong marriages provide an atmosphere of trust, security and love for a child.  Communication, focused attention, forgiveness and flexibility are essential within a marriage.  As a couple, view your individual differences as assets in your relationship not threats.  Work hard at resolving conflict, do not perpetuate negative behaviors from the past, and look for opportunities to enrich your marriage.  Seeking advice and mentoring from older couples can be enriching as well as recognizing behaviors your parents used to display at home.  A healthy marriage provides warmth and affection that is essential to children.  To effectively pass the faith on to the next generation, be sure to make your marriage a priority.

Family is extremely important to increase the likelihood that our children will love Jesus and value serving others. Your roles as parental figures will help to shape children’s’ lifestyles, values, and beliefs.  Parents committed to God take their roles as spiritual leaders in the home very seriously. The likelihood that your children will love Jesus and value serving others will increase when as parents you are committed to God and to each other.

Organ Donation

“There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13 

Organ donations are low because of uncertainties regarding spiritual issues, fear of the donation process, and physical effects on the body. First, almost all religions approve of organ donation as an act of love. Second, the donation process is strictly protected, begins once death has been determined, and removes only what can be used. Last, the donor’s body is respected and an open casket is up to the family. Other concerns such as age (donors can be between 0 and 80) and cost (families are not charged for the process) often make families think twice. Don’t let fears keep you from being a donor. Pray, and then talk with your family about your decision. Donating your organs could potentially help over 35 people receive a new lease on life. For more information you can go to www.donatelifemn.org or talk to the parish nurse.

The Core Message of Colossians

We have been working through the book of Colossians in our Sunday services in October and November.  It is a book of great significance for our Christian walk.

I would like to identify the central message of Colossians.

1. We must accept experientially that Jesus Christ is our Savior and Lord.  He is the one who is supreme over the creation of the world and our re-creation in our salvation.  It is imperative that we have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, where He is central in all aspects of our lives. (Colossians 1: 15 -23)
2. We must recognize our new found identity in Jesus Christ.  Colossians states that we are complete in Jesus Christ.  Our value and worth flows from Him.  We possess all the resources in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit to live a godly life.  (Colossians 1:24 – 2:5; Ephesians 1: 1 – 14;  II Peter 1: 1 – 11)
3. We must avoid spiritual distractions that take us away from our clear allegiance to Jesus Christ.  The Old Testament system is the shadow, but the reality is Jesus Christ.  The old system can be a distraction if we feel we must keep all the Old Testament law.  We can also be distracted when we follow other religious systems, human traditions, or practices instead of Jesus Christ.  (Colossians 2: 6 – 23)
4. Finally, we must live out our allegiance and identity in Jesus Christ in practical ways.  This includes godly values and principles in the common arenas of our lives – in our church, home and society at large.  (Colossians 3: 1 – 35)

 Paul concludes his message in Colossians with a challenge to find others you can mutually encourage in the Lord.  We need our relationship with Jesus Christ and with fellow Christians.

 This book is worthy of your study.

 Pastor Mark

The Importance of Play

Do you ever picture Jesus playing?  That may be an image of him that you have never considered.  The Bible does not give us many details about his experiences as a young child, teenager or the years leading to the beginning of his ministry. 

I am absolutely certain that he explored his surroundings and discovered the wonder of the Father’s creation. Smelling flowers, touching rocks of every kind, watching the animals, gazing at the stars and sitting in the sun were surely part of his free play.

As a toddler he probably crawled on dirt floors, pulled himself up to Joseph’s carpenter’s bench and even manipulated the tools.  With Joseph’s help he gradually learned the trade, but not before he had many chances to discover through play.  As a little boy, he may have mimicked Mary in her housekeeping chores or tried to help with the cooking.

Can you see him playing tag or hide and seek with friends ?  Shoveling sand and squishing clay?  Climbing trees or diving into a pool of water? Running and jumping ? Humming a tune or singing with others?  He surely must have created designs in the sand or looked at the clouds for funny animal images.  Did he laugh at the silly antics of friends?  Or have some of his own? 

The point is that Jesus played because that is how children learn.  In the awesomeness of his being, he was human.  He totally enjoyed life. He must have had opportunities to be curious, use his imagination, develop relationships and grow in the way that was pleasing to his Father.  Play was part of that process.   Make it essential for your family!